Many people have written to me many times, asking me to pray that they have a successful marriage and family life. My reply to every such one today, is that, you are the builder and the architect of your family. If your family life turns out to be successful, you have played a part in its success, even though God is the ultimate Builder (Hebrews 3:4). If your family life is not successful, God is not to blame either, because He always keeps His own side of the covenant. Before your family can be built successfully, you have responsibilities to accept and fulfill.
It is a well known fact that the quality of any establishment is largely dependent on the quality of its leadership. This is also true of any family. Today, we will look at: The main Secret of a True Family Man, in our quest for a successful family.
A true family man is a man of many parts. He is a good leader, who takes decisions, guarantees the welfare of the home and makes provisions for his family members physically and financially. Besides, he is a spiritual beacon, interceding for each member of the family regularly. However, in this article, we shall be looking at one secret upon which all others hinge, which is love. The secret of the love he has for his family is a major motivation that moves him to fulfil his other responsibilities.
Apostle Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost said: Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25). The instruction to love your own wife, is not a commandment from a denomination; it is the commandment from the Almighty God. There is a world of difference between the words ‘love’ and ‘lust.’ Love is not only just a feeling of affection, it is a force that causes one to give continuously, not only when the woman does good, but also when she appears to be wrong in some aspects. It is the force that makes one desire and work out the best for the other party. However, when one has the intention and attitude of wanting to grab or to get from the other party all the time, that is lust and not love.
Wherever love is present, it cannot be hidden; it can be seen, it can be read, it can be heard and it can be felt. There can’t be effective leadership without love. However, anyone who draws people to himself, who is touched by their feelings, and shows concern for them, is always an effective leader. As a man, if you want to be in control of your home, you need to use the weapon of love. Love and control are two sides of the same coin. Where there is love, selfishness does not exist!
Loving as much as Jesus loves the church is the standard. Jesus loved the church when it had no comeliness. While we were yet sinners, Christ laid down His life for us (His Church) (I John 3:16). A true family man, therefore, does not wait for his wife to be perfect, before he loves her, but is unconditionally steadfast in the demonstration of his love for her and his entire family. Whenever your wife is going wrong, lovingly call her back to order. Love sees danger afar off and warns the loved one of that danger by loving control methods.
God’s Word says: Love thinketh no evil (1 Corinthians 13:5). Therefore, always resist any evil thought in you concerning your wife or other family members in the mighty name of Jesus. Use the yardstick of, if your wife could see the thoughts that you’re thinking towards her, would you be ashamed? Next, ensure that you express your love verbally. If you can’t tell your wife you love her, who else do you want to tell? I hear it from my husband continually and it creates in me both the ability to submit and a reassuring commitment to make our home a delight always.
A true family man speaks good and godly words to his wife and children. When he calls his wife a virtuous woman, she longs to live up to that title. As he calls his children gifted and intelligent, they work hard not to disappoint his expectation. He disciplines them when necessary, with a heart full of love and compassion. He interacts (plays) with them, communicates with them, asks them relevant questions, allows them to ask him questions, and answers their questions. He is a good listener and he is always available for his family when they need him. Don’t be too busy to spend time with your family. I heard the daughter of one of the governors say on television that her father still finds time to come to their room and play with them. That gave me a lot of respect for that governor. In spite of his very busy schedule, he still finds time for his daughters.
Husband, if you really love your wife, you will treat her just like yourself. That is a major secret of family success. A pinch of salt looks so little, but when it is absent in any soup, it is very obvious. Similarly, no matter how great every other thing looks in a home, when love is missing, it will be glaring to the whole world. These are the things that make a home sweet. Dear family man, there is no secret anywhere; obedience to these divine instructions will give you enviable results in your family life.
Today, I see grace being imparted on you by all the knowledge you have acquired from this article. Your home shall never be the same again. Peace!
If you have never accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour why not do so right now by saying this simple prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am sinner. I cannot help myself. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your blood. Deliver me form sin and satan to serve the living God. I believe You died for me and on the third day, You rose that I might be justified. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).